• Quality means doing it right when no one is looking - Henry Ford.

  • A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students - John Ciardi.

  • Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go - Oscar Wilde.

  • The great secret of true success, of true happiness, is this: the man or woman who asks for no return, the perfectly unselfish person, is the most successful - Swamy Vivekananda.

  • Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing - Benjamin Franklin.

  • If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking - Lyndon B. Johnson.

  • There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing - Aristotle

  • Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation - Howard Scott.

  • It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem - Malcom Forbes.

  • Failing to plan is planning to fail - Effie Jones.

  • The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back - Franklin P. Jones.

  • The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass - Martin Mull.

  • Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference - Robert Frost.

  • To make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe - Carl Sagan.

  • It takes too much energy to be against something unless it's really important - Madeleine L'Engle.

  • Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach - Aristotle.

  • Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity - Albert Einstein.

  • A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is something everybody believes, except the person who made it - Albert Einstein.

  • Everything is vague to a degree, you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise - Bertrand Russell.

  • Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment - Rita Mae Brown.

  • If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much - Donald H. Rumsfeld.

  • Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something - Robert Heinlein.

  • When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators - P. J. O'Rourke.

  • I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians - Charles De Gaulle.

  • The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals - Sir William Osler.

  • The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits - Albert Einstein.

  • Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better - Unknown.

  • One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man - Elbert Hubbard.

  • An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a rough-edged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the living - Nicholas Chamfort.

  • Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught - Sir Winston Churchill.

  • It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them - P. G. Wodehouse.

  • Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you - Fran Lebowitz.

  • Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see - Arthur Schopenhauer.

  • Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation - Howard Scott.

  • Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other - Ann Landers.

  • If you want a thing done well, do it yourself - Napoleon.

  • Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you - Cyril Connolly.

  • The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously - Henry Kissinger.

  • Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions - Evan Esar.

  • Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but, unlike charity, it should end there - Clare Booth Luce.

  • Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most - Mark Twain.

  • Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater - Albert Einstein.

  • Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength - Eric Hoffer.

  • I hate quotations. Tell me what you know - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

  • God help those who do not help themselves - Wilson Mizner.

  • Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them - Albert Einstein.

  • The only sure thing about luck is that it will change - Bret Harte.

  • An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field - Niels Bohr.

  • Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake – Napoleon.

  • The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work - Harry Golden.

  • It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back - Mick Jagger.

  • The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work - Robert Frost.

  • Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water - W. C. Fields.

  • Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another - Ambrose Bierce.

  • It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them - Pierre Beaumarchais.

  • It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt - Abraham Lincoln.

  • You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun - Al Capone.

  • Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage - Evan Esar.

  • I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them - E. V. Lucas.

  • Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong - George Carlin.

  • You can't shake hands with a clenched fist - Mahatma Gandhi.

  • It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations - Sir Winston Churchill.

  • When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?' - Don Marquis.

  • If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? Albert Einstein.

  • A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author - G. K. Chesterton.

  • Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else - Will Rogers.

  • The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war - E. B. White.

  • Politics are almost as exciting as war and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics - many times - Winston Churchill.

  • Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else - James M. Barrie.

  • In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is - Chuck Reid.

  • I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him - Galileo Galilei.

  • When in doubt tell the truth - Mark Twain.

  • Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too - Anton Chekhov.

  • The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards - Arthur Koestler.

  • Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet 'em on your way down - Wilson Mizner.

  • A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer - Robert Frost.

  • A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing - Joey Adams.

  • A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is something everybody believes, except the person who made it - Albert Einstein.

  • If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability - Henry Ford.

  • If you believe everything you read, better not read - Japanese Proverb.

  • Society, my dear, is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow - Arthur Stringer.

  • There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it - Mary Wilson Little.

  • Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes - Oscar Wilde.

  • Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty - Leo Rosten.

  • Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it - Stephen Leacock.

  • I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be - Douglas Adams.

  • Will not say I failed 1000 times, I will say that I discovered 1000 ways that can cause failure - Thomas Alva Edison.

  • If we cannot love the person whom we see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see - Mother Teresa.

  • If you win, you need not have to explain. If you loose, you should not be there to explain! -Adolf Hitler.

  • Three sentence for getting success: know more than other, work more than other, expect less than other - William Shakespeare.

  • If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, then it means they had never tried a new thing in their life - Albert Einstein.

  • In a day, when you don't come across any problems, you can be sure that you are travelling in a wrong path - Swami Vivekananda.

  • If you judge people, you have no time to love them - Mother Teresa.

  • How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin - Ronald Reagan.

  • Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome - Isaac Asimov.

  • By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong - Charles Wadsworth.

  • War doesn't determine who's right - only who's left - Bertrand Russell.

  • Committee -- a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done - Fred Allen.

  • I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her - Rodney Dangerfield.

  • Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something - Plato.

  • I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either - Jack Benny.

  • Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind - Evan Esar.

  • I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody - Bill Cosby.

  • Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something - Robert Heinlein.

  • If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything - Bill Lyon.

  • A diplomat... is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip - Caskie Stinnett.

  • Art is making something out of nothing and selling it - Frank Zappa.

  • History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon - Napoleon Bonaparte.

  • The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting - Charles Bukowski.

  • You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother - Albert Einstein.

  • Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone - Anthony Burgess.

  • Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind - Marston Bates.

  • If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style - Quentin Crisp.

  • Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other - Ann Landers.

  • An Expert is someone who is asked, not necessarily someone who knows - John Kenneth Galbraith.

  • I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy - Richard Feynman.

  • If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you - Don Marquis.

  • A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it - Bob Hope.

  • The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people - Lucille S. Harper.

  • Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it - Ellen Goodman.

  • The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault - Henry Kissinger.

  • People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it - Ogden Nash.

  • I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago - Will Rogers.

  • The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them - Will Rogers.

  • Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away - Thomas Fuller.

  • When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading - Henny Youngman.

  • Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day - Mickey Rooney.

  • The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it - PB Medawar.

  • When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong-- or absolutely right - Albert Guinon.

  • If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going - Professor Irwin Corey.

  • The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it - Franklin P. Jones.

  • The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale - Arthur C. Clarke.

  • Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs - Christopher Hampton.

  • It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth - George Burns.

  • Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist - GK Chesterton.

  • It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours - Sam Ewing.

  • In this world talent is cheap, but dedication is rare - Michelangelo.

  • Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners - E. Joseph Cossman.

  • I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it – Voltaire.

  • Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first - Peter Ustinov.

  • An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought - Simon Cameron.

  • In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on - Robert Frost.

  • When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it -Henry Ford.

  • The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught - Marquis de Vauvenargues.

  • Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong - Muhammad Ali.

  • A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her - Oscar Wilde.

  • The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it - George Orwell.

  • Whatever your past has been, you have a spotless future - Melanie Gustafson.

  • The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously - Henry Kissinger.

  • To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal - Peter Ustinov.

  • The best way to keep one's word is not to give it - Napoleon Bonaparte.

  • The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong - Mahatma Gandhi.

  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met - Rodney Dangerfield.

  • I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting - Mark Twain.

  • The greatest mistake you can make is to be continually fearing you will make one - Elbert Hubbard.

  • The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half - Fyodor Dostoevsky.

  • That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong - William JH Boetcker.

  • Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all - William Goldman.

  • If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man - Mark Twain.

  • You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time - Abraham Lincoln.

  • A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time - Alfred E. Wiggam.

  • I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it - Thomas Jefferson.

  • We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by - Will Rogers.

  • There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self - Aldous Huxley.

  • Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to - Ambrose Bierce.

  • Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience - Oscar Wilde.

  • I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours - Jerome K. Jerome.

  • Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things - Peter Drucker.

  • Let me light my lamp and never debate if it helps remove the darkness – Rabindra Nath Tagore.

  • Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value - Albert Einstein.

  • We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give - Sir Winston Churchill.

  • Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it - Mahatma Gandhi.

  • Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein.

  • Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm - Sir Winston Churchill.

  • The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war - anonymous.

  • There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics - Benjamin Disraeli.

  • Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it - Samuel Johnson.